Tag Archives: relationships
I have changed and the change feels good
The last 4 years have been very interesting for me. I am using the word Interesting instead of a stronger language word. It has changed me . I’ve lost a bunch of important people and animals in my life. My career had some gigantic lows and now some amazing highs. My health went bad and now I’m coming out of that. In other words life happened and it profoundly affected me.
I also turned 50 this year and that has forced me to take a good look at my life and see where I am. So I am changed.
Some People are having a hard time with me being changed. Other folks haven’t even noticed. But everyone is finding out through my actions and words. Things that were okay for me before aren’t so now. I used to let certain things slide, no anymore. I would settle!! No more of that. I know I can survive just about anything that is put in front of me. There is comfort in that. I don’t have to accept the way I can be treated. I can accept the person for who they are but I don’t have to let them treat me however they feel.
I like the newer, much improved me. I’m okay with the choices that I am making for me! I invite everyone to do the same. It feels great!!
Photo by Doug Frerichs
Over the last 10 years I have changed the ules with those close to me, So what does that mean?
Well I let people treat me a certain way for a period of time. Then I woke up (usually thru self discovery or with help of a professional) and decided it was not okay anymore and changed MY behavior. THEN I didn’t accept the ways they continued to treat me.
I had to realized that it all begins and ends with ME. I can’t change THIER ways of doing things, but I could change my reactions.
I got tired of feeling bad or that I always got “the short end of the stick.” IN some cases you can talk with the people you are dealing with and sometimes change and growth can happen together. Of course that is usually the desired outcome you want! But many times that is not the reality. You have to find a way to let go of what THEY are doing and be strong and move forward and be able to defend yourself.
It’s oaky to say NO. It’s okay to simply say when something doesn’t work for you. It’s okay.
I quietly started changed the rules with certain people. I don’t even know if THEY have noticed. I havent done it in a mean way. When someone who does NOTHING for me asks for my help with something, I say NO if I feel like it. AND don’t feel bad. If you talk to me a certain way, I choose how I want to respond and there are times I might not respond. I’m much happier these days.
I don’t let people put thier “stuff” on me! And you shouldn’t either. I try to walk through the world with care and compassion and non judgement. I stay in my lane and try to be nice to everyone. I also believe in being treated a certain way that is respectful to me! I encourage you all to do the same!