I have been asking myself this question for the last few years after having exchanges with people in my life. And my answer is leaning towards….no!
It’s amazing how self centered we have become as a society. We can probably list 10 reasons why we are here and in this state, but to me I’m beyond that. It’s amazing to me.
One of my theories based on my experiences is that people are desperately wanting to be seen and heard and valued. Its almost at all costs with no shame. It’s all about being hurt or feeling neglected or being lonely. I’ve had so many disagreements where the fight becomes about the way the fight is going and the reason for the fight gets smaller and smaller. I’ve been in arguments where it boils down to miscommunication or misunderstanding and that person needs to let you know how hurt they are. Even if it was their reason you are in the fight in the first place.
Many times I’m on the short end of the stick of people looking out for me or checking on me. I went through a rough medical issue and maybe 5 people checked on me. FIVE. Now that I’m feeling better, people are trying to resume my role as caretaker and listener and helper. But I don’t want the role anymore, so I changed the rules because I’m a changed person. Those folks don’t seem to understand. And some of them are mad at me and making it all about them. Hmmm.
I feel you get what you give. I also know that you teach people how to treat you. I am a participant in this. Can’t blame it all on other people. I miss the “village” mentality where we all look out for each other and that includes our feelings.
I have to end this to say that i do have a few people who are thoughtful and do care about my feelings. Not very many but a few. I think it’s now a byproduct of everything. We need to connect and be present with each other. I will hold out hope