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The Dark and the Light of Christmas

24 Dec

it hurts

it really hurts

i can feel you…everywhere

i wish i could see you…anywhere

I went to the store to buy you a Christmas card

Isn’t that crazy. You’ve been dead for a minute now.

I went to the store and I saw all the things you would like.

I cried at a CD of Chaka Khan. I cried at a book for Top Chef. I cried a cute sweater vest in your size.

emotions are swirling all through my head. they are drowning me.

I’m trying to come up for air

I knew this would happen but i was not prepared for it…fully

I remember all the good years we had to together. All the Christmas holidays.

I smile

I cry

then i smile again.

I still have people HERE that i need to give attention to

I still have people here to celebrate the holiday with.

I still have people here at Christmas..and some of them miss you too.

We can miss you together. The survivors.

We can love you together.

I want to be someone who is missed when i am gone.

I have to remember whether i am missing them or being with who’s left

Love is filling the room.

Love is filling my heart

Love is lighting my Christmas.

 

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2017 in Spoken Word/Poetry

 

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